“Excuse me ma’am, but do you have any books on baby sign language?”
“Yes we do, right over here. Oh I think teaching your baby to sign is just the cutest thing!”
“Yeah well actually I just wanted to to see if any of these books show you how to get your kid to fall down and play dead after you shoot them with your finger like that monkey does on ‘Every Which Way But Loose.’
“Sorry?”
“And then I’ll bare-knuckle fight my way out of debt and hopefully my boss will be in the audience in the championship fight and as I take the leader of the Black Widow motorcycle gang down with an uppercut the camera will slowly zoom onto my boss nodding his approval from the filthy, filthy bleachers and then we’ll embrace and he’ll let me come back to work at the ranch dressing ranch.”
“What camera? I don’t really understand what you’re saying to me…ummm….here are the books you asked for.”
“Christ! It’s not about the fucking books, don’t you get it?! This is my life we’re talking about here!”
“Please, just take the books, you can have them, just please leave…oh thank God…he’s gone.”
HOW TO GET FREE BOOKS EPISODE 1 OF 75
